Today's blog post is going back to the Early Days! Childcare, Education and some Developmental Theories thrown in! Brace yourselves!
My cousin who's a working mother of two, sent me a link to a post by blogger Stephanie Metz. Her comment: "Finally someone says what I've been thinking!" This of course got me thinking, and got me curious to read the post.
Blogger Stephanie Metz writes about her life as a working mother on her blog The Metz Family. The post I'm talking about is from October 2013 entitled "Why My Kids Are NOT the Center of My World" and as she cautions, it may be a controversial post to read.
Stephanie talks about her views on raising her children and how her views contrast with what modern society seems to accept as 'acceptable behaviour' for boys. A quote from the article to illustrate (my edit):
Stephanie beautifully illustrates a point that bugs not only herself but a lot of people, myself included. The time she talks about is her own childhood as she explains in the article. As I'm about her age, it's my childhood too and one I remember fondly.
While I enjoyed tea parties with my dolls and my girlfriends, at heart I was a real tomboy. Bike races, rugby, football, tree climbing, hut and fort building and yes - gasp - playing at being soldiers with guns who shot each other. I loved it all and enjoyed it with real gusto.
Playing boys' games with the boys are some of my best childhood memories. Yet I'm no gunwielding treeclimbing fortbuilding footballer today. I'm a wife, a mother, a teacher, a pacifist (as far as any mother can be...) who tries to instill values in my children just as Stephanie does with her own children.
Today's society seems obsessed with owning things, with making money, with looking sexy or cool, with buying the right brand. Society seems obsesses with making people feel good about themselves almost to a fault and these ideas have influenced how we raise our children as Stephanie's quote above shows so well.
Of course I want my children to feel good about themselves. To be confident in who they are, free to express themselves as they choose. I want them to know that I love them, care for them, will always do my best to be there for them. Yet they also need to learn about life on their own, they need to fall and get up again, they need to be allowed to make their own mistakes and fight their own battles.
As Stephanie writes, "Modern parenting is creating a generation that's not going to be able to function in society." She's talking about parents (and teachers) who cater to their child's every need, who hold their hand at every turn and attempt to shelter their children from harm, always. About parents who, in Stephanie's view, over-protect their children.
It is a question that worries many parents I know. How do I raise my children and prepare them for the world when I also want to protect them from harm while at the same time allowing them the freedom to graze their knees, dent their pride, bump their heads and learn from it all? How do I raise children who are free to be themselves - and play with toy guns if they want to because they'll know the difference between fake and real - in a society busy teaching my children that they are too precious to ever fall, too good to fail, too perfect to be criticized, too nice to ever be bullied, too holy to ever be hurt, too amazing to be dumped?
"Being Perfect, Making Money and Owning Stuff" is not the dream I have for my children. I want them to be happy. To be free to make their own choices. To choose a partner they love and want to commit to. To raise their own children as they see fit. To get an education of their own choosing. To learn about things that interest them. To play a musical instrument or learn to a foreign language if they so choose. To enjoy their jobs and love their lives. To dance in the rain or make angels in the snow.
I want my children to be people who are considerate, who care about others, who value honesty and hard work and justice and decency. I want them to be confident about who they are as adults because they had the freedom, as children, to make mistakes and learn from them. And I intend to give my children that freedom. Thank you, Stephanie, for your thoughtful post. I agree with you, as so many others do too. I look forward to reading more of your work!
My cousin who's a working mother of two, sent me a link to a post by blogger Stephanie Metz. Her comment: "Finally someone says what I've been thinking!" This of course got me thinking, and got me curious to read the post.
Blogger Stephanie Metz writes about her life as a working mother on her blog The Metz Family. The post I'm talking about is from October 2013 entitled "Why My Kids Are NOT the Center of My World" and as she cautions, it may be a controversial post to read.
Stephanie talks about her views on raising her children and how her views contrast with what modern society seems to accept as 'acceptable behaviour' for boys. A quote from the article to illustrate (my edit):
"Many years ago, there was a time where young boys could run around with their toy guns, killing the bad guys. You could take the toy guns away from the little boys and they'd find something else around them - a stick or their fingers - and pretend it was a gun. Today, those little boys - if caught doing that - are labeled as threats and immediate action is taken to remove that threat from the group."
Stephanie beautifully illustrates a point that bugs not only herself but a lot of people, myself included. The time she talks about is her own childhood as she explains in the article. As I'm about her age, it's my childhood too and one I remember fondly.
While I enjoyed tea parties with my dolls and my girlfriends, at heart I was a real tomboy. Bike races, rugby, football, tree climbing, hut and fort building and yes - gasp - playing at being soldiers with guns who shot each other. I loved it all and enjoyed it with real gusto.
Playing boys' games with the boys are some of my best childhood memories. Yet I'm no gunwielding treeclimbing fortbuilding footballer today. I'm a wife, a mother, a teacher, a pacifist (as far as any mother can be...) who tries to instill values in my children just as Stephanie does with her own children.
Today's society seems obsessed with owning things, with making money, with looking sexy or cool, with buying the right brand. Society seems obsesses with making people feel good about themselves almost to a fault and these ideas have influenced how we raise our children as Stephanie's quote above shows so well.
Of course I want my children to feel good about themselves. To be confident in who they are, free to express themselves as they choose. I want them to know that I love them, care for them, will always do my best to be there for them. Yet they also need to learn about life on their own, they need to fall and get up again, they need to be allowed to make their own mistakes and fight their own battles.
As Stephanie writes, "Modern parenting is creating a generation that's not going to be able to function in society." She's talking about parents (and teachers) who cater to their child's every need, who hold their hand at every turn and attempt to shelter their children from harm, always. About parents who, in Stephanie's view, over-protect their children.
It is a question that worries many parents I know. How do I raise my children and prepare them for the world when I also want to protect them from harm while at the same time allowing them the freedom to graze their knees, dent their pride, bump their heads and learn from it all? How do I raise children who are free to be themselves - and play with toy guns if they want to because they'll know the difference between fake and real - in a society busy teaching my children that they are too precious to ever fall, too good to fail, too perfect to be criticized, too nice to ever be bullied, too holy to ever be hurt, too amazing to be dumped?
"Being Perfect, Making Money and Owning Stuff" is not the dream I have for my children. I want them to be happy. To be free to make their own choices. To choose a partner they love and want to commit to. To raise their own children as they see fit. To get an education of their own choosing. To learn about things that interest them. To play a musical instrument or learn to a foreign language if they so choose. To enjoy their jobs and love their lives. To dance in the rain or make angels in the snow.
I want my children to be people who are considerate, who care about others, who value honesty and hard work and justice and decency. I want them to be confident about who they are as adults because they had the freedom, as children, to make mistakes and learn from them. And I intend to give my children that freedom. Thank you, Stephanie, for your thoughtful post. I agree with you, as so many others do too. I look forward to reading more of your work!