What the actual f#ck?

 I'm not an American. Have never wanted to be an American. Sure, I watch American television, American movies. Can name which states cities are in, if they've been featured on television, in books I read or movies I watch. New York. LA. Miami. Chicago. Washington DC. San Francisco. New Orleans. 

All I really know about the US of A is from television, from movies, from the media. But also from friends. The US shown on TV and in movies is often a happy place. High-school movies with jocks and cheerleaders, that sort of thing. Sure, crappy things happen, but good prevails, in the end it all makes sense, and despite the bad stuff people do, the hero saves the day.

These days... I'm not so sure. I'm not sure if I've written about this before, but I remember the day the orange dude was made president. Was in a public train, on my way to work. Sitting across from a bunch of strangers. And the news came in on someone's phone. They were so appalled that they shared with all of us. And all of us right there, complete strangers, we started talking. We normally don't do that, the whole talking to strangers on a train thing. We keep to ourselves mostly, try to give others space, even though we're stuck like sardines while travelling to work, or home. But all of us, we got talking. About how insane it was. How crazy it was. How we just couldn't believe it, or understand it. All of us strangers on that train, we were in total agreement. The US had gone crazy. 

After the repeal of Roe vs Wade, I was appalled once again. Once more, let me say, I do not live there,, have only visited the once. So really, who am I to judge, apart from just another person? But if I understand right, I could get raped, could get pregnant, and even if I wanted to get rid of my rapist's foetus in my womb, in many states, that would be illegal. I just don't get that. How can it be that as a woman, I would have no say in the matter? What if a young girl got raped? Say just old enough to get her period. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen. Would she have to become a mother because some man forced sex on her and she happened to get pregnant? 

These days, Twitter tells me that activists have taken over the campuses of major universities. That apparently it seems 'okay' for people to openly call to murder others, that apparently people who rape innocents and kill over 1200 people, are somehow 'heroes' or 'righteous' or whatever the hell it is that people are thinking, feeling, believing.

I'm someone who is staunchly pro-Israel. Doesn't mean that I agree with everything the Israeli government decides or that I agree with how the Gaza/Hamas thing post October 7th is being handled. It does mean that I believe that every human being should have a home, a safe haven, a place where they can just be, without being hunted or harassed, threatened or raped, hurt or killed. For Jewish people, that one safe haven is Israel. So yes, I truly and honestly believe that it is right for Israel to exist. If that makes me a Zionist... So be it. Does that make me any less human? Does that mean it makes me a target? For some... It does. So I don't speak up under my own name. I don't make waves. I use an alias to write, as I have for many years. And these days, it feels a lot more necessary than when I started this blog.

What the actual fuck is happening to our world? What the hell is going on? How can regular, normal people support an organisation that kidnaps, terrorises, rapes, and think they're doing the right thing? What the hell is wrong with humanity if so many of us believe that those who rape, terrorise, kidnap and kill are victims, righteous, right? What the hell is wrong with us?