Earlier this month, a Turkish young woman was brutally murdered after resisting assault and rape by a stranger. A 20-year old university student on her way home to her family, Özgecan Aslan was aware of the dangers all women face in a world in which men live - she carried pepper spray and she knew to fight back to defend herself - yet also determined to get an education and live her life without fear of other human beings.
Another article from the same newspaper entitled Women defy imam in murdered woman’s funeral, carry the coffin speaks about Özgecan's funeral and nearly broke my heart. What happened, in a nutshell - Özgecan and a friend got on a minibus to go home, after other passengers got off the bus and Özgecan was the only passenger left, the driver attempted to assault and rape her. When she fought back and showed that she wasn't going to be used and abused by a stranger, he killed her. He then enlisted his father and a friend to help him dispose of Özgecan's body and cover up the evidence. While I am not someone who believes that violence is the answer to any of the world's problems, I cannot help but agree with Özgecan's mother as quoted in the article about her daughter's funeral:
Özgecan's courage and determination did not help her in her fight against the disgusting animal who so brutally murdered her. However her name will be remembered by many and her story is raising voices around the world. Even though we can't help Özgecan now, perhaps we can act to help others from suffering the same fate. No woman deserves to be raped or assaulted, no woman ever asks for it, no matter what she says or does, no matter what she wears or how she looks.
I wrote about rape in a previous blog post, or rather rape statistics in India and around the world. According to those statistics, 93 rapes happen in India each and every day of the year. Just imagine 93 women you know, imagine their faces, their eyes, their smiles. And now imagine them being raped. Tomorrow, imagine the next 93 women, the next day another 93. That is reality for women in India. As a female who has been attacked, assaulted, harassed, felt up and - yes - raped by someone I once thought of as a friend, I am all too aware of the many dangers women face in a world controlled by men.
Since reading about Özgecan's murder, I have been trying to write an article that expresses what I think and feel. I have come to the conclusion that sharing some of my own stories will be hardest for me to do however is also what needs to be done. The only way to stop violence against women and against ALL people weaker or more easily subdued than (often stronger) men is to help the world's males understand the consequences of their actions - I too need to speak up and explain what being attacked, harassed, assaulted and raped has done to me and what it does to other women.
Writing this article, I started thinking about the girls and women I personally know who have been harassed, assaulted, discriminated against, who have been raped or even gang-raped. Some are victims of domestic violence. Some have been jumped on the street in broad daylight. Some were ambushed while heading home from work. Some were waiting for public transport. Out of the women I know, some wear make-up and jewellery, some don't. Some show cleavage or enjoy wearing short skirts while others cover up for various reasons. Some love wearing high heels, others prefer flats. Some enjoy talking on their cellphone while waiting for public transport, others may read a book or magazine. Some are married and some aren't. Some are stay-at-home mothers while others work long hours or have their own companies. None of them wanted to be hurt. None of them asked to be harassed, assaulted, groped, "eve teased," raped, degraded or discriminated against. None of them ever asked for it or wished it, dreamed about it or hoped for it. None of them. Yet it happened to all of them.
For some women, like for Özgecan, the attacker was a stranger. For others, the attacker was someone we thought of as a friend and someone we could trust. Sadly, strangers are only part of the danger and the problem - men we know and trust such as family members, friends and neighbours are too often the ones hurting women. While researching for the previous blog post / article I wrote about rape, I came across a report from Australia. The Guardian reports that domestic violence in Australia is caused by a culture of hostility to women.
The burned body of Aslan, who had been missing for two days, was discovered on Feb. 13 in a riverbed in Tarsus in the southern province of Mersin. Ahmet Suphi Altındöken, the 26-year-old bus driver, confessed in a testimony to the prosecutor that he stabbed Aslan to death before cutting off her hands and burning her body. The court arrested Altındöken, while his 50-year-old father, Necmettin Altındöken, and 20-year-old friend, Fatih Gökçe, have also been arrested on charges of being accomplices to the murder.
Turkish women changing names to escape violence from men | Hurriyet Daily News
Another article from the same newspaper entitled Women defy imam in murdered woman’s funeral, carry the coffin speaks about Özgecan's funeral and nearly broke my heart. What happened, in a nutshell - Özgecan and a friend got on a minibus to go home, after other passengers got off the bus and Özgecan was the only passenger left, the driver attempted to assault and rape her. When she fought back and showed that she wasn't going to be used and abused by a stranger, he killed her. He then enlisted his father and a friend to help him dispose of Özgecan's body and cover up the evidence. While I am not someone who believes that violence is the answer to any of the world's problems, I cannot help but agree with Özgecan's mother as quoted in the article about her daughter's funeral:
“They should be executed, they should be tortured. Özgecan had a wonderful heart, she would work hard, help everyone. I cannot accept that she was massacred when she took a minibus to come home. Is my daughter’s only mistake is to get on a minibus to come home?”
Özgecan's courage and determination did not help her in her fight against the disgusting animal who so brutally murdered her. However her name will be remembered by many and her story is raising voices around the world. Even though we can't help Özgecan now, perhaps we can act to help others from suffering the same fate. No woman deserves to be raped or assaulted, no woman ever asks for it, no matter what she says or does, no matter what she wears or how she looks.
I wrote about rape in a previous blog post, or rather rape statistics in India and around the world. According to those statistics, 93 rapes happen in India each and every day of the year. Just imagine 93 women you know, imagine their faces, their eyes, their smiles. And now imagine them being raped. Tomorrow, imagine the next 93 women, the next day another 93. That is reality for women in India. As a female who has been attacked, assaulted, harassed, felt up and - yes - raped by someone I once thought of as a friend, I am all too aware of the many dangers women face in a world controlled by men.
Since reading about Özgecan's murder, I have been trying to write an article that expresses what I think and feel. I have come to the conclusion that sharing some of my own stories will be hardest for me to do however is also what needs to be done. The only way to stop violence against women and against ALL people weaker or more easily subdued than (often stronger) men is to help the world's males understand the consequences of their actions - I too need to speak up and explain what being attacked, harassed, assaulted and raped has done to me and what it does to other women.
Writing this article, I started thinking about the girls and women I personally know who have been harassed, assaulted, discriminated against, who have been raped or even gang-raped. Some are victims of domestic violence. Some have been jumped on the street in broad daylight. Some were ambushed while heading home from work. Some were waiting for public transport. Out of the women I know, some wear make-up and jewellery, some don't. Some show cleavage or enjoy wearing short skirts while others cover up for various reasons. Some love wearing high heels, others prefer flats. Some enjoy talking on their cellphone while waiting for public transport, others may read a book or magazine. Some are married and some aren't. Some are stay-at-home mothers while others work long hours or have their own companies. None of them wanted to be hurt. None of them asked to be harassed, assaulted, groped, "eve teased," raped, degraded or discriminated against. None of them ever asked for it or wished it, dreamed about it or hoped for it. None of them. Yet it happened to all of them.
For some women, like for Özgecan, the attacker was a stranger. For others, the attacker was someone we thought of as a friend and someone we could trust. Sadly, strangers are only part of the danger and the problem - men we know and trust such as family members, friends and neighbours are too often the ones hurting women. While researching for the previous blog post / article I wrote about rape, I came across a report from Australia. The Guardian reports that domestic violence in Australia is caused by a culture of hostility to women.
Australia’s police commissioners have identified “vulgar and violent attitudes towards women” as a key cultural cause of unacceptably high rates of family violence and say it will not stop until men’s attitudes change.
They have urged victims to report assaults to police, who they say have transformed their own attitudes towards family disputes in recent years. Most commissioners say police working closely with other agencies involved with family violence is the only practical way to tackle a crime that kills one woman a week in Australia.
Culture of hostility to women leads to domestic violence, say police chiefs | The Guardian (Australia), 02 November 2014
The harassment that women go through is too real. #sendeanlat #tellyourstory pic.twitter.com/uHWwKSTYww
— Lillian Palmbach (@LilyPalmbach) February 16, 2015