Superheroes and other role models

 In the past few weeks I've been watching all the Marvel superhero movies, starting with 2008's Iron Man. Two night ago I watched Avengers: Endgame. It feels like the cycle is complete right now. While I don't want to give away any spoilers, for those who do know the movie/the story I hope you will all agree: The ending is poignant and bittersweet. After watching that ending, I needed some time to process. So, on coming home from work yesterday, I chose to watch the season 2 finale of Star Trek: Picard instead of starting on the next movie in the Marvel universe. The next movie is a Spiderman story. Strangely enough, I've never really been a Spiderman fan. The X-Men? Yes, definitely! Batman too. Superman, of course! I loved the Captain Planet stories featuring teens from all around the world getting together to make the world a better place. Xena. Hercules.

And then of course there was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sarah Michelle Gellar's Buffy gave me a regular superhero to look up to. Someone who made sense to me. Not a man like Superman or Batman. Not a 'proper grown up' like Storm, Rogue and Jean Grey who were, let's face it, a little hard to relate to as they were drawn instead of portrayed by actual actors. Buffy was much closer to my own age. She had regular teen-issues. While I was a bit of a nerd/geek/unpopular kid in the corner and didn't get much attention from the popular girls in high school (until they realised I was friendly with some of the older boys they all had crushes on, that is...), I wasn't an awkward teen either. I just didn't fit in with most people around me. I wanted to learn, but only the things that actually interested me and not the boring stuff. All the talk about boy-bands and make-up and crushes on boys didn't do much for me either. My peers, well, they made sense to each other, but not to me. I just always felt different, like a bit of an outsider. Not an outcast, but just really someone who didn't belong there. And honestly, I preferred ditching class and watching Star Trek to spending time in school. 

Due to not fitting in very well, I became an introvert. A few years ago I watched an old recording that my Dad had transferred from VCR to DVD featuring me at age 6. I was All Over The Place. I wanted to be in every shot. Wanted to talk, to present, to show off my skills and my knowledge. I was chatty and energetic and oh-so-very present. As I got older, that went away. I had no desire anymore to be in the spotlight or to be the center of attention. I became 'the girl with the book' as books were easier to deal with than people. Looking back, I truly wish that my parents and other influential figures would have been more supportive of who I was, of how I was. As it was... Well, there was a lot of complaining about me not fitting in and not being normal or like other children/teens. For years, I struggled to be as 'normal' as possible. Which resulted in me doing a lot of pretending to be someone I wasn't. 

Star Trek provided me with a group of people I could look up to and feel inspired by. Crusher and Troi, Kira and Dax, Janeway and Torres... I wanted to meet them, to chat with them, to learn from them. When Star Trek Voyager introduced Seven of Nine with her awesome logic and her pretty much non-existent interpersonal style, I wanted to BE her. B'Elanna and Nerys were too emotional and angry. Bevery and Deanna seemed too perfect and grown-up. Kes was too innocent. Dax was too confident and at-home with who she was to connect with. Seven... Seven made sense to me. Despite being a human on a starship crewed by mostly humans, she didn't fit in either. She'd missed out on a lot of what makes us who we are - the way we humans interact with others, the way we adapt to those around us, the way we change how we act and what we might say based on those around us. Seven didn't do that. Seven didn't feel the need to do that. And I very much admired that about her. While one of the reasons for the introduction was no doubt Jeri Ryan's looks, for me honestly, it was Seven's brain that made me like her. A smart character who enjoyed her work, was confident about her skills and abilities, who knew that she knew a lot and felt absolutely no need to pretend to be someone she wasn't. It as refreshing and inspiring.

Watching the MCU movies recently, I've been pondering how TV has changed since I was young. Being different from those around us isn't a 'bad' thing anymore. While we're encouraged to make friends, we are also very much encouraged to find likeminded people. We don't have to hide who we are just to fit in. We don't have to change who we are and how we are. Thor's love interest Jane is a scientist. Black Widow's done some terrible things in her past yet is on the team anyway, because of who she becomes. There are aliens. People with superhuman powers. People who are unapologetically who they are, who stand by their beliefs and their principles. These people aren't the outsiders or the nerds who get picked on to provide some comic relief. These people are the heroes, the stars of the franchise. We're encouraged to like them, to admire them too, to see them as flawed and real and fallible and despite all that, as good guys, as heroes. Years of doing 'bad' things can be put aside when a character changes and throws in with the good guys. One can be part of the team despite being 'different' or a bit of an outsider. Everyone's own particular skill-set is what makes them valuable members of the team. We appreciate these people for who they are, because of what they know and for what they know. They are valuable and they matter because of that which makes them different, because of what makes them unique. Let's have more of that on TV and in the media! I reckon it will do all of us  lot of good... Especially the outcasts who feel like they don't fit in...