Waking up with a smile...

Today, I'd like to write a bit about something that I've been dealing with for some time now. To say that I'm stressed is a little too simple. To say that I'm depressed isn't quite right either. Rather, I'm tired. Tired of restrictions. Tired of face masks. Tired of spraying disinfectant on my hands whenever I arrive anywhere. Tired of keeping my distance from other people. Tired of not being able to hug my friends when I see them. Tired of being cooped up inside. Tired of working from home. Tired of living my social life through a computer screen. And really, really ready to go back to normal life. Now, before you tune out, this isn't about covid/corona/whatever you want to call it. This is about me. And about how having a few days off from work last week finally made me realise that things need to change before I end up worse off than just tired...

It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes

a claim upon men’s hearts, as for that subtle something,

that quality of air, that emanation from old trees,

that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.

 ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

I'm an avid photographer. I love getting out of the city and into nature whenever possible. This past year however, due to the covid restrictions, I've spent a lot of time working from home and a lot less time being outdoors. But, I can almost hear you ask, shouldn't working from home free up more time for you to go out, to be in nature, all that? Yeah... Not quite. I live in a city. Sure, there are parks and trees, there's water and grass, but it's man-made nature providing the illusion of being in the outdoors while being only minutes away from stores, people, public transport and well, the hustle and bustle of civilisation. Strange as it may sound coming from someone writing about what makes people tick, I don't always like people. Or rather, I don't always like being surrounded by people out walking, jogging, playing, running, strolling, biking, talking, parading, yelling, screaming and well, generally being noisy and present and  just very much there when I'm trying to find some peace and quiet. So, that's where the office comes in. Because from the office near the edge of the city, it takes only a few minutes to get to one of my favourite 'barely any people here' places. Getting there from where I live when I'm already home after an eight-to-five day spent working... Yeah... nope.

Einstein / Nature
Source: Bright Drops

When I'm at the office anyway, I quite enjoy a relaxing walk in nature before heading back into the city and going home. Yet when I'm already at home, somehow it seems easier to move myself and my laptop from the kitchen table to the couch when I'm done with work for the day, grab a pizza and a beer and turn on Netflix. And as I'm sure many of you know by now, once you do that there's no real turning back and you end up sitting there watching episode after episode of whatever show you happen to be watching until it's time for bed.  Sure, I do my best to exercise, I try to go for a walk around the block every few hours, I go to the supermarket a few times a week. But really, that's about it. Because as strange as it sounds, when there's really no other reason to leave the house than well, grocery shopping and exercising, you end up staying home as both grocery shopping and exercising starts to feel like a huge effort.

So, why am I blogging about all this? Because frankly, I've been feeling stressed for quite some time now and I only really realised it about a week ago. I've got a lot of vacation time saved up yet due to all the restrictions, I haven't bothered taking time off. Nowhere to go anyway, so why not keep on working. I didn't really feel tired or stressed our or anything, so clearly I was fine. Right! Right? Yeah, well... Nope.

After a message from HR about having to use up our mandatory holiday hours before they expired, a lot of us had to take some days off. And some of my days off happened to be last week. Seeing I'm still not planning any trips, I figured I'd enjoy several long weekends instead of taking a bunch of full weeks off the way some of my friends and colleagues are doing. So, I'm working two or three-day weeks and spending more time trying to destress and all that. The first of my five-day weekends was last weekend and frankly, it was lovely to spend a long weekend not thinking about work or stress or having to wake up at a certain time. Yet the thing that really made me realise that things seriously need to change was something I didn't expect. On day four of my five-day weekend I woke up with a smile on my face, feeling stress-free and carefree. Let me repeat that. I woke up with a smile on my face. As I sat on my couch enjoying my morning coffee, still smiling, I finally realised that I couldn't actually remember the previous time I'd woken up with a smile on my face. I couldn't actually remember. How crazy is that? 

As I was sitting there enjoying my coffee, still smiling and feeling more relaxed than I had in ages, it hit me. I wanted more moments like that. I wanted to relax more. Wanted to feel like that more. In fact, I needed to. So, I started thinking. Analysing. How could I feel like that more often? As I do, I started writing a list. What actually relaxes me? What actually makes me happy? When was the last time I truly felt good, felt happy, felt carefree? Times spent laughing with friends came to mind. Time spent with family came to mind. Simple moments. Just moments, but valuable moments nonetheless. Two other things I wrote down: Photography and being out in nature. It's spring here in the northern hemisphere. Summer almost, even. The perfect time to enjoy nature, to enjoy the outdoors. 

As I was making my list, I was reminded of an article I read some time ago. An article about the Japanese concept of forest bathing. So, I started Googling and sure enough, I found a lot of articles about it. A QZ.com article aptly titled The Japanese practice of ‘forest bathing’ is scientifically proven to improve your health explains that "The Japanese practice of forest bathing is proven to lower heart rate and blood pressure, reduce stress hormone production, boost the immune system, and improve overall feelings of wellbeing." It's simple. You head outside, surround yourself with nature and instead of stressing about work or life or must-do's or can't-forgets, you simply relax and connect with the natural world. Google produced articles from Forbes.com, from Time Magazine, from National Geographic and many other sources as well. No wonder I remembered reading about shinrin-yoku, seeing it was covered in many major publications. Forest bathing is a form of what's also called ecotherapy, according to the National Geographic article. 

As Psychology Today's article Nature Therapy explains "We are far removed from the natural world of our ancestors: more than 50% of people now live in urban areas (increasing to >70% by 2050). Increased urbanization is associated with increased levels of mental illness, particularly anxiety and depression. Growing up in a rural setting correlates with a less acute stress response, and exposure to green space significantly correlates to a positive effect on well-being in a large two-decade study." Me, I grew up in a smallish town. Moved to a big city as a child and spent my teenage years there. It shaped and formed me, yet I also chose to move to another smallish city again in my twenties. While it wasn't the cosmopolitan metropolis I'd gotten used to in my teenage years and was ridiculously quiet in winter without tourists or seasonal labourers, it was also a city filled with parks, green spaces, fountains, trees and oh yeah, it was coastal with several beaches and of course, the ocean. I used to be at the beach almost daily. We had a pebble beach where I lived and not one suited for recreational swimming really, that was a bit further away, yet I still spent a lot of time there. Sometimes I'd take a book and read. Sometimes I'd just sit and enjoy the ocean. We loved going out and getting drunk in the weekends, us crazy teens and early twenty-somethings, and often ended up at the beach for a walk or a snog or just to sit and talk. From there, I moved to another smallish city and then to where I live now, the central part of a big city. While I love living here, (and honestly I'm living 16-year old me's dream-life now here in the big city, I promise you), I do miss the quiet life every now and then. 

So, now that restrictions are easing up as more people are getting vaccinated and the government's realised that with summer looming, the people won't be kept indoors, I'm planning a trip to the office for a half day of work, followed by a few hours of enjoying nature and the outdoors. I'll be taking my camera, a bite to eat and a bottle of water... Because nature dear, it's been a long time since we truly communed, and I'm more than ready to do some forest bathing. Oh, and speaking of bathing, I've got two moths inside my living room right now, bathing in the light of my lamp... I wonder if that counts as nature too...